Hangover
by Rel
Summary: As if waking up with a splitting headache wasn't enough, Renji realises he's not alone Renji/Matsumoto, humour fic


Renji opened his eyes and instantly regretted it.

Ouch.

Why was the light so damned bright? It hurt.

Squeezing his eyes shut again he swallowed dryly, wincing at the all too familiar taste of stale sake . Great, so despite his best intentions he'd let Matsumoto and Shuuhei talk him into 'a few friendly drinks' which as usual became just a few more and a few more until...

Ach his head, it felt like his brain was trying to escape through his eyeballs.

What day was it?

Oh damn, it was a work day wasn't it...

He was probably already late. Kuchiki-taichou would be sitting in Division Six, making a mental note of this as yet another reason why he was deficient.

He needed to get moving.

Now.

...

Why wasn't his body obeying him? Okay let's try again.

He tried once again to push himself into a sitting position and realised the problem was his arm had gone to sleep.

Or rather someone had gone to sleep on his arm.

Matsumoto was lying sprawled out across the numb appendage. That in itself was nothing new, waking up in a heap with his drinking companions happened all the time. What was new was that she was...naked.

Completely, totally, inexplicably naked.

...

He probably shouldn't be staring like this.

If he was any kind of gentleman he'd shut his eyes again.

...

...

Okay that probably confirmed what he'd known for awhile now- that he wasn't really a gentleman.

But damnit it wasn't his fault, she was the one who was naked not him...

Oh.

Well maybe he was too.

So him and Rangiku had ended up in her bed. Naked. Together.

...

Oh crap.

Oh crap

Okay think Renji, it's probably not what it looks like. You were probably just...playing an impromptu game of strip poker. In her bed. And you both lost horribly?

Oh damnit.

Bits and pieces were floating back now, hazy through the mists of vast quantites of alchohol. She'd tasted like sake but her lips had been soft and inviting. It had been so long since he'd been with a woman and she'd been so yielding in his arms. And of course she was beautiful, he wasn't blind he'd noticed and lusted after her like every other male shinigami. But it had still seemed so wrong because the figure in his arms was too voluptous and the hair was long and golden not short and dark and the eyes were the wrong shade of blue. But the alcohol had let him push all that aside, to forsake the woman he couldn't have for the one who was here, willingly in his arms.

Now it in harsh bright light of day it wasn't just the hangover that was making him feel sick.

What he'd done...was so wrong, it was so stupid...not only had he pretty much taken advantage of a drunken female friend, not only had he'd promised himself he was going to wait for Rukia, not only that but...

He'd slept with Matsumoto Rangiku and he couldn't remember a damn thing.

Okay maybe he shouldn't really be concentrating on the last one but if you were going to regret something surely it was okay to wish you remembered what it was you were supposed to be regreting?

Damn, he could have tormented Shuuhei for years with this too. Well if Matsumoto didn't kill him first.

That was a point.

Surely she couldn't blame him for this?

...

After all it wasn't his fault right?

...

Right?

...

Crap.

He looked apprehensively at the woman still sleeping soundly on his arm and it began to dawn on him that a swift exit might increase his life expectancy exponentially.

And that was easier said than done.

Okay, okay he needed to think this through logically. All he had to do was somehow ease Matsumoto off his arm without waking her, retrieve his clothes from various places around the room (he could see his underpants dangling precariously from the light fitment) get dressed, get to work, hope no one commented that he looked and smelt like a hobo and pray that Matsumoto didn't come after his blood at some point.

After wrapping one of the sheets toga-style around his waist he carefully began to tug on his useless arm, inch by inch edging it out from under her.

'You know you could just ask me to move.'

His head jerked up to see her crack open a drowsy blue eye.

'Rangiku-san...I...I'm sorry.'

She rolled off his dead arm and pulled herself up, gathering the covers up in front of her.

'Oh god, my head. I should really know by now that twelve bottles of sake is my limit but I never seem to remember...what are you doing?'

He'd prostrated himself on the ground at the foot of them bed in a bow and managed to get out a garbled apology

'What on earth are you on about Renji? Get up please, if I have to lean over the edge of the bed to look at you I might fall or throw up or both.'

Getting to his feet (a little unsteadily truth be told, he wasn't entirely sure he wasn't still drunk) he started his apology again getting louder and more agitated as he went along.

'...I am really sorry, I was drunk I didn't know what I was doing...please don't kill me I really didn't mean...'

'How about this? I promise not to kill you if you stop shouting...ooooh.'

With a hand clutching her head she flopped back down onto the bed, seemingly not caring the sheet was around her waist again.

Trying to control his blush Renji grabbed his hakama from the floor and hurriedly stepped into them, almost falling over in his haste.

'Is this because we had sex?' she guessed casually.

He froze, turning to look at her, his mouth hanging open. She met his gaze unblinkingly.

'What? Why's it such a big deal? You were drunk, I was drunk, we did what drunk people sometimes do and fooled around. It was fun, we had a good time from what little I can remember and that's that. No need to be so embarrassed.'

He could only nod, the relief washing through him making him feel weak-kneed. If she didn't consider it a big deal then maybe he shouldn't either...

Matsumoto sat up again and moaned, pressing her palm into her forehead as if she could push the hangover out of her brain.

'Why do I do this to myself every week? And I'm really late for work. Normally Taichou comes and wakes me up if I'm late but I guess he saw you were here and decided not too...'

Renji stopped dead, his hakama ties slipping from suddenly numb fingers.

Oh shit.

As much as Hitsugaya might claim she annoyed him, however much he lamented the second he'd been stuck with, he cared deeply for Matsumoto.

And if he'd walked in on them...

Renji was now certain he was a dead man. 


End file.
